When your good friend gets a boyfriend, it’s pretty normal for them to go MIA for a while, right? I mean, they’re going to be completely twitter pated with their new beau and it might feel like they’ve forgotten about you for a little while. But real friendship doesn’t end just because your friend has found a potential life partner. Because they’ll come back to you. You cant replace a really good friend and I think people too quickly panic and get angry and upset with that friend for their new obsession. If you cannot fully understand that aspect of the person, then are you really that good of a friend? Or were they that good of a friend to you? Those questions will define whether your relationship with that person will last.
But here is where it gets a little more complicated…
So, you’ve been dating your boyfriend for a couple years and you start introducing your friend to his family. She starts hanging out with your boyfriends, younger brother and eventually feelings between the two of them appear. Then you start addressing issues in your relationship and you break up with your man! Everyone is shocked and you try and stay friends because you still care for each other… there are just things you felt you couldn’t work out. Then, a void grows between you and your friend who you thought you were super close with. It almost feels as if she’s siding with them. There are not real attempts at hanging out… when you try she’s busy doing something with your ex’s family, she’s busy with work, she’s sick… there is no room for you left in her life. And the small amounts of time you’ve tried to work out some time to spend together are spent awkwardly avoiding conversations about how you’re really feeling because you don’t want anything getting back to your ex boyfriends family. Trust really becomes an issue. And you know that your friend feels the same. Although you know she’s torn, she has clearly made the decision stop really being a friend and become one of those people who came into your life for a short while… and it was a blast and it made a difference in your life! But some friendships are short term and they do die and turn into long distance friendships. You catch up every once in a while but you’re not really sure where you stand… you just know each other because of something that has happened between the two of you in the past. That is all.
Well, I sure hope that isn’t the case! But it feels like that is the way it will be. And questions arise in your mind if the real reason she wanted to hang out so much was just because of a little crush on your ex boyfriend’s little brother. I know I really shouldn’t think like that but sometimes I cant help but feel a little bitter and sad. When I invest my heart into someone and get my heart crushed… well, I hurt. Doesn’t everyone? How long will it take to heal? Are you the terrible person for feeling like your friend is terrible? And if anything happens between your friend and her boyfriend, should you except them again and forgive. Of course, I should forgive… but accept? Do I want to feel this way again? Or should I open myself up to her once more and enjoy what time (possibly not very long) I have with her?
Or the better question… how do I feel if they end up together forever? Even if it is through facebook or distant friendship, do I still hold onto her tie in my life and forever been haunted by how my ex is doing? I’ve always been told that the best way to move on with your life is to completely cut you ex off from your life. But with her always doing things with his brother and “family” events… I really honestly do feel haunted. So what the heck do I do with myself?
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