24

I'm 24 years old. Or young, I guess?
When I was 19 years old I got into a serious relationship that lasted four years. Last Christmas he proposed to me and I said yes. But I think what really happened is I really started to think about what I was jumping into. Not that he is a bad person, he's amazing! The nicest guy in the world. I really dont have anything bad to say about him. But the things that come along with him (his baggage, per say?) really slapped me in the face. And I asked myself if I was really ready to commit to that.

I tried to deny it. I tried to convince myself that its just the normal stuff couples go through. But it just didnt settle right. In fact, I just felt like I was settling. So I ended it. I chose it, though he says its mutual. And now where am I? Who am I?

In the four years of commitment, I feel like I've sort of lost track of who I am. I'm me... but who am I without him? I'm lonely, scared, and afraid of any kind of rejection. Those are definite signs I'm not ready for any kind of relationship. But I do know this... I need to keep focusing one the person who matters the most, right now... Myself. And the rest will follow.

I'm 24 years old.
I'm young, fun, healthy, and blessed. I just need to wake up and smell the roses! Stop feeling sad, lonely, and lost... because I can go anywhere, be anything... and just be myself. That is not a bad thing. I dont need to change who I am for anyone! I just have to be happy and not a slave to what the world thinks I should be. Or who I should be with.

Love is real and it will come. Sometimes feeling a little lost is a part of the healing process. I've ripped off an old scab and now it needs to heal and toughen up! Life is tough but it is also beautiful and magical! And that is all I can think of for now.


I'm watching New Girl. FUNNY! :) Makes me feel good to laugh. G
Goodnight.