The Good Ol' Days.

My friend Heather and I used to be connected at the hip. It started out as a simple selfish relationship in eighth grade, inwhich neither one of us liked eachother at all. Soon after though, our relationship changed, bloomed into a great time in my life. She was always there for me. Sometimes she would go through mood swings, be angry at me... but it always seemed to work itself out. Since then though, she has moved away. She moved over a year and a half ago. Just before she moved I felt a distance growing between us. I knew nothing was going to stay the same... it was already changing too fast and once she was down there... with friends encouraging her to do things I dont do, the void was only going to get bigger. And so it has... For the longest time I called her. Texted her. Left messages, comments... I did it over and over. Occasionally I'd get a call back but I was always the one trying to keep the friendship going. She would tell me, "Jean, I'm so greatful that you always try and keep us together. I love you so much. If it wasnt for you calling everyday..." Blah blah blah. Well, I'm pretty much sick of hearing lies like that. For so long I have been naieve enough to believe that trash. I feel like I cant even trust her. I do still and will always love her, pray for her, be there for her when she needs me... but she lied to me and I cant take that for an answer anymore. I'm backing away and if she really knows what an awesome friends she lost I know she'll come back to me. And I know she is an awesome friend, thats why I wont completely loose her from my life. I know it would be a waste of the years gone by if I did just cut myself off. I care for her too much. Everything is so diffrent now.. who knows if it will ever be the same... I just hope someday we'll both grow up and look back and laugh about all the stupid stuff. Time goes by, friends grow apart, but friendship NEVER end. Thats what I believe. I love each and every one of my old friends, even the ones I dont speak with constantly. They all meant so much to me at one point in my life. I'll never let that go. And esspecailly not with Heather.